Flowers or No Flowers?… that is the question
It’s become the thing to do; to request “No Flowers” for memorial or funeral services or “in lieu of flowers” to give a donation to a specific organization or charity that the bereaved specify in the announcement of a loved one’s passing. As a floral designer, and simply a person who loves flowers and plants, I ask: why must this option be announced to the guests who will be attending the celebration of life, or wake?
Many times, this terminology is used to encourage charitable gifts but not necessarily to discourage other expressions. It is important that each giver make their own choice. People are choosing to send a floral remembrance to the service or family home as well as a donation to the charity indicated. The option of sending blooming plants, like an orchid (phalaenopsis), or a peace lily (spathiphyllum) to the home of the family is a wonderful way to remember someone. Flowers in pots with bulbs that can be replanted and bloom again, year after year: tulips, lilies, narcissus, amaryllis and hyacinth to name a few. There is no substitute for beautiful flowers. They comfort the living as they commemorate the life of the person who has died.
So, you ask, what does this have to do with Heliotrope for Hospice? Let me illustrate… a few weeks ago, my closest friend lost her father-in-law. When she called me with the news, I told her I would be honored to do the floral arrangements. She said they didn’t want a lot, just in key areas- like under the story board, at the front podium, and where a commemorative framed shadowbox of his military medals and prestinely folded American Flag would be placed. At the service, there were two other floral tributes sent from friends. I was not there, but I can tell you from my own personal experience- when you are grieving, when there are no words… the sight of a single flower out of a large display, the light playing off a back lit blossom, the winding rhythm of a willow branch- there is a calmness- a sense of wonder at nature’s beauty, God’s creation. It is a powerful message to one’s soul. Flowers are for the living~
The day after the service, the flowers were donated to Heliotrope. I picked up the large floral displays, took them apart, carefully redesigned them into almost fifty bedside vase arrangements for people in hospice care. The flowers will serve their purpose once more, bringing a gift of beauty to someone, whether for an hour, a day or a week-
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